hatfullofsky:

You think you’re going to be hip and teen forever and then suddenly you find yourself drinking red wine and playing board games and lusting after men with beards 

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1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.

2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.

3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.

6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.

8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

9. Don’t dumb it down.

10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

12. Never park in front of a bar.

13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

17. Never lie to your doctor.

18. All guns are loaded.

19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.

20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.

21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.

23. A handshake beats an autograph.

24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.

28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

31. Eat lunch with the new kids.

32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.

33. It’s never too late for an apology.

34. Don’t pose with booze.

35. If you have the right of way, take it.

36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

38. Never push someone off a dock.

39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.

41. Don’t make a scene.

42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

43. Know when to ignore the camera.

44. Never gloat.

45. Invest in good luggage.

46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.

47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.

48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

49. Give credit. Take blame.

50. Suck it up every now and again.

51. Never be the last one in the pool.

52. Don’t stare.

53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.

54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

56. Admit it when you’re wrong.

57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.

59. Thank the bus driver.

60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.

61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

62. Know at least one good joke.

63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.

64. Know how to cook one good meal.

65. Learn to drive a stick shift.

66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

68. Dance with your mother/father.

69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.

70. Always thank the host.

71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.

73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.

74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

75. Keep your word.

76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.

77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.

78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.

79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.

80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.

81. You are what you do, not what you say.

82. Learn to change a tire.

83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.

85. Don’t litter.

86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.

87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.

88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.

89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.

90. Make the little things count.

91. Always wear a bra at work.

92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.

93. You’re never too old to need your mom.

94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.

95. Know the words to your national anthem.

96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.

97. Smile at strangers.

98. Make goals.

99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.

100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.

a high school teacher’s list of 100 wisest words (via live-la-bella-e-vita)

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truthofmasks:

My friend painted this.

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madelineyo:

pocketspooks:

locksandglasses:

I remember when I thought people in their 20’s were adults. Now all of my friends are in their 20’s and everybody is just kind of fumbling around bumping into each other, trying to figure out where the free food is

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Excellent gif use

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wearewildflowers:

perfection

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tkr:

HEAVEN more and more (155p)

Yo, Pataki!

rach33z:

actionhankbeard:

Yo Pataki is a re imagining of the Hey Arnold characters as young adults. The series (hypothetically) would center around a 26 year old Helga Pataki who is now a bartender works at the family owned business, Big Bob’s Cafe.

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Helga

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When Big Bob’s Beepers goes out of business, Miriam is forced to attend AA meetings for her alcohol problem. 26 year old Helga Pataki is forced to drop out of school to help support her family. She now works as a bartender at the new family business, Big Bob’s Cafe.

Sid

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Sid formed electronic band, Wheezin’ Ed with childhood classmates Phoebe and Stinky. Due to his irrational paranoia of becoming famous and being harassed by paparazzi, he wears an antique diving helmet at gigs to conceal his identity.

Phoebe

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Helga’s best friend Phoebe Heyerdahl earns her Ph.D in neuroscience at the age of 17. In her free time she provides the vocals in Sid’s band, Wheezin’ Ed as a way to unwind. She is in an on again / off again relationship with Gerald.

Stinky

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Stinky Peterson’s smooth southern drawl earned him a job as a late night radio host. He also plays bass in Sid’s band, which has made him popular among the ladies.

Sheena

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After witnessing Helga mercilessly attack Brainy throughout their childhood, Sheena is inspired to become an advocate for domestic violence victims. She is married to childhood sweetheart, Eugene Horowitz. Ironically, there is a belief among her friends that she physically abuses Eugene due to her large size and Eugene’s own clumsiness.

Brainy

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Brainy works as a one hour photo technician. He has apparently outgrown his obsession with Helga and now spends much of his time hanging around P.S. 118 where he snaps pictures of children, particularly little girls with blond hair.

Rhonda

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Rhonda Wellington Lloyd inherited her family’s fortune and is now a successful fashion designer. She is narrow minded and highly competitive, referring to herself as the queen of fashion. Former best friend, Nadine claims Rhonda developed a severe cocaine problem to cope with her loneliness.

Harold

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Mr. Green leaves his meat market in the care of Harold Berman after he runs for city councilman. Harold converts Green Meats into a kosher meat marker out of respect for his Jewish faith. He is in a relationship with Big Patty.

Nadine

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After earning her degree in entomology Nadine begins teaching 4th grade science at P.S. 118. She’s also a self proclaimed bug whisperer, which makes people uncomfortable. Former best friend Rhonda claims Nadine can’t keep a boyfriend because they’re weirded out by her unusual fascination with tarantulas.

Eugene

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Despite a lifetime of unusual bad luck, Eugene Horowitz followed his dream of becoming a famous Broadway actor. He manages to incorporate his clumsy behavior into his act which turns out to be so well received it lands him the leading role in a television series based on the play, Eugene Eugene.

Big Patty

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Former city arm wrestling champion Patricia Smith turned weightlifter became an internet phenomenon after videos of her in the gym surfaced on social media. She’s referred to as “Big Patty” in memes which according to Harold, makes her feel socially awkward.

Gerald

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Gerald Johanessen currently attends Hillwood School of Art & Design and is working towards a degree in film and television. He creates short films based on the urban legends from his childhood with his good friend, Fuzzy Slippers. After making plans to leave for LA after graduating, Phoebe decides its best to end their relationship for good in order for him to pursue his dream.

Lila

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While working as a waiter, Lila decides to pursue a career in stage acting. She makes her Broadway Musical debut alongside Eugene. He lovable personality and on stage chemistry with Eugene lead to the two starring in their on successful tv sitcom.

Arnold

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After graduating from college Arnold moved away to reunite with his parents in San Lorenzo, where he remained for 5 years. He returns home when he receives news that Grandpa Phil passed away. With no other other tenants living in the boarding house other than Grandma Gertrude, he decides he is more needed in Hillwood. Arnold works closely with children as a child psychologist. And, according to Gerald, Helga is noticeably more affectionate to Arnold now.

And…

Stoop Kid

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After gaining the courage to step down from his stoop, Stoop Kid stumbles upon a winning 10 million dollar lottery ticket. With his new found fortune, he decides to travel the world with his lawn chair in search of grand stoops to take selfies on which he refers to as #StoopSelfies. He catalogs his journeys on his blog, The Stoop Connoisseur.

these are really good!

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megamintcat:

ryansealcrest:

does it come with butter pillows

is anyone reading that description 

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